Jadmitpog is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, competent turtle.

Jadmitpog created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadmitpog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadmitpog, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jadmitpog's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jadmitpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never run near tapirs.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.