Tikquafbop is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awesome pig.

Tikquafbop created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikquafbop, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tikquafbop, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tikquafbop's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tikquafbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Tikquafbop loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.