Cepflyjadfas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless newt.

Cepflyjadfas created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepflyjadfas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cepflyjadfas, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cepflyjadfas' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cepflyjadfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep in need.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Always stare at clouds.