Fongedkin is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient walrus.

Fongedkin created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fongedkin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fongedkin, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fongedkin's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Fongedkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed bananas to moths while wearing violet coats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Fongedkin.