Fobbudtun is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, pitiless narwhal.

Fobbudtun created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Fobbudtun, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobbudtun, she will turn you into a rock.

Fobbudtun's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fobbudtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Never paint your legs fawn.