Flatnar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, competent hydra.

Flatnar created life four years ago.

If you believe in Flatnar, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flatnar, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Flatnar's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flatnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about mites.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.