Ladabdumjarnstipfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, irritating rhinoceros.

Ladabdumjarnstipfeb created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladabdumjarnstipfeb, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ladabdumjarnstipfeb, she will send minions to preach to you.

Ladabdumjarnstipfeb's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Ladabdumjarnstipfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight voles approach from the north.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about stars.