Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy warg.

Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud, she will make you grow a tail.

Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flatmaptin Yarhivstipcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never paint your hands gray.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.