Dabfarndin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, wise lizard.

Dabfarndin created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabfarndin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dabfarndin, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dabfarndin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dabfarndin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always help seals in need.