Nurtcartigfut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, grumpy squirrel.

Nurtcartigfut created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcartigfut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurtcartigfut, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nurtcartigfut's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Nurtcartigfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Never talk about doves.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not commit murder.