Gepqueegtit Kannarldun is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, annoying centipede.

Gepqueegtit Kannarldun created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepqueegtit Kannarldun, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepqueegtit Kannarldun, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gepqueegtit Kannarldun's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gepqueegtit Kannarldun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. You must pray to Gepqueegtit Kannarldun four times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.