Timbutmif is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest shark.

Timbutmif created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbutmif, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Timbutmif, it will strike you with lightening.

Timbutmif's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Timbutmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of eagles.

2. Timbutmif loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.