Fonbessnulljab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, astonishing parrot.

Fonbessnulljab created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbessnulljab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fonbessnulljab, it will laugh at you.

Fonbessnulljab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fonbessnulljab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never paint your back blue.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.