Orttandad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil troll.

Orttandad created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Orttandad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Orttandad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Orttandad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Orttandad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Run away from magenta dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never run in holy places.