Volnarlfabwad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing beaver.

Volnarlfabwad created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Volnarlfabwad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Volnarlfabwad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Volnarlfabwad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Volnarlfabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed pineapples to doves while wearing cyan hats.

5. Worship no other gods but Volnarlfabwad.