Omtgepcet is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, vain snake.

Omtgepcet created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtgepcet, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtgepcet, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Omtgepcet's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Omtgepcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo jumpers.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always obey Omtgepcet's priests.