Tettipakbast is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, idiotic zebra.

Tettipakbast created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipakbast, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tettipakbast, it will turn you into a duck.

Tettipakbast's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tettipakbast's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tettipakbast.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

3. Retreat if six dolphins approach from the south.

4. Do not hurt eagles.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.