Ripnarldumpon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident ant.

Ripnarldumpon created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripnarldumpon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ripnarldumpon, she will turn you into a rat.

Ripnarldumpon's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Ripnarldumpon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must never eat bananas.