Pigfatgep Cisslanbass is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, calm crow.

Pigfatgep Cisslanbass created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigfatgep Cisslanbass, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pigfatgep Cisslanbass, he will turn you into a hamster.

Pigfatgep Cisslanbass' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Pigfatgep Cisslanbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

5. Never bounce near horses.