Donsugnur is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, uncaring alligator.

Donsugnur created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Donsugnur, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Donsugnur, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Donsugnur's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Donsugnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

2. Donsugnur must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about snails.