Tinlamlad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fussy rat.

Tinlamlad created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinlamlad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tinlamlad, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tinlamlad's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tinlamlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never feed onions to rats while wearing blue corsets.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look in ponds.