Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awesome pig.

Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gofhadyattipzigtim Sawbotquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Dogs are not to be trusted.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.