Hunfongig Metsaklan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unfair monkey.

Hunfongig Metsaklan created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hunfongig Metsaklan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hunfongig Metsaklan, it will curse you with boils.

Hunfongig Metsaklan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hunfongig Metsaklan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hunfongig Metsaklan's name in vain.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always obey Hunfongig Metsaklan's priests.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.