Ont is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful hedgehog.

Ont created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Ont, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ont, she will send minions to preach to you.

Ont's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Ont's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.