Tikjapcud is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, contented faun.

Tikjapcud created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjapcud, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tikjapcud, it will turn you into a dog.

Tikjapcud's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tikjapcud's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tikjapcud five times a day.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide from indigo manatees for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.