Dagsidsatmif is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident chinchilla.

Dagsidsatmif created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagsidsatmif, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dagsidsatmif, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dagsidsatmif's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dagsidsatmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Never look in ponds.