Vonklog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful armadillo.

Vonklog created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonklog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonklog, it will refuse to believe in you.

Vonklog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vonklog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Vonklog loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Worship no other gods but Vonklog.

5. Never write about cell theory.