Donnutmitcum is a god.

He takes the form of a large, narcissistic gorilla.

Donnutmitcum created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donnutmitcum, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Donnutmitcum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Donnutmitcum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Donnutmitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always obey Donnutmitcum's priests.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.