Yatvigtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent human.

Yatvigtaf created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatvigtaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yatvigtaf, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yatvigtaf's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yatvigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Run away from purple nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Hide from yellow swans for they are unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yatvigtaf.