Hasnartipgen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, happy beaver.

Hasnartipgen created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Hasnartipgen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hasnartipgen, he will destroy your favourite star.

Hasnartipgen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hasnartipgen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never mention snails.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hasnartipgen.