Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent coyote.

Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen, he will boil you in a big pot.

Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Santaprutt Tarplabveg Cimfotteen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never mention otters.