Bogtarart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful goose.

Bogtarart created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtarart, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bogtarart, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bogtarart's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bogtarart's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never hurt hamsters.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Never mention tortoises.