Flanmabbaf Satwankam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless aardvark.

Flanmabbaf Satwankam created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanmabbaf Satwankam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flanmabbaf Satwankam, he will destroy your favourite star.

Flanmabbaf Satwankam's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Flanmabbaf Satwankam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flanmabbaf Satwankam.

3. Hide if seven hamsters approach from the west.

4. Always wear green.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.