Homyampid is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow clam.

Homyampid created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Homyampid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Homyampid, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Homyampid's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Homyampid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Never talk about cell theory.