Hamhittarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest giraffe.

Hamhittarg created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamhittarg, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hamhittarg, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hamhittarg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hamhittarg's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help shrews.