Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish capybara.

Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jipcapjat Cutrillarp Bamgamlan.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never sing in holy places.