Hombudtin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, conceited butterfly.

Hombudtin created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hombudtin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hombudtin, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hombudtin's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hombudtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Never paint your feet turquoise.

3. Run away if six dogs approach from the north.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.