Shavarpgamsan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable skunk.

Shavarpgamsan created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Shavarpgamsan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Shavarpgamsan, she will turn you into a worm.

Shavarpgamsan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Shavarpgamsan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple otters, for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Always wear green.

5. Shavarpgamsan must be the most important thing in your life.