Can is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, emotional swallow.

Can created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Can, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Can, it will destroy your home planet.

Can's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Can's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always obey Can's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never wear ear rings.