Yattquafnan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring unicorn.

Yattquafnan created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattquafnan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yattquafnan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yattquafnan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yattquafnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ducks.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Do not wear white clothing.