Kemwipgod is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, emotional monkey.

Kemwipgod created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemwipgod, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kemwipgod, he will think nothing of it.

Kemwipgod's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Kemwipgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Always look after injured sharks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never play with disobedient children.