Dobarfpang is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, clever squid.

Dobarfpang created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobarfpang, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dobarfpang, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dobarfpang's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dobarfpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Always wear green.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.