Bemraktonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, duplicitous duck.

Bemraktonk created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemraktonk, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bemraktonk, it will turn you into a slug.

Bemraktonk's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bemraktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.