Funloopyatt is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring meerkat.

Funloopyatt created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funloopyatt, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funloopyatt, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Funloopyatt's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Funloopyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Run away if six tortoises approach from the south.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.