Komyakbastteen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful salamander.

Komyakbastteen created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Komyakbastteen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Komyakbastteen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Komyakbastteen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Komyakbastteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help sheep.

4. Never feed peanuts to frogs while wearing brown shorts.

5. Never hurt dogs.