Jonboptag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured gnu.

Jonboptag created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonboptag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jonboptag, he will turn you into a mouse.

Jonboptag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Jonboptag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never sit in the presence of dogs.