Bemwot Pighabdud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy goblin.

Bemwot Pighabdud created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemwot Pighabdud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bemwot Pighabdud, it will remove you from existence.

Bemwot Pighabdud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Bemwot Pighabdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Run away if seven horses approach from the north.

3. Never wear brown boots.

4. Dogs are not to be trusted.

5. Worship no other gods but Bemwot Pighabdud.