Pakcipkem is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish skunk.

Pakcipkem created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pakcipkem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pakcipkem, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pakcipkem's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Pakcipkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Pakcipkem must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.