Yartfarnnat is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, humane lobster.

Yartfarnnat created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfarnnat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yartfarnnat, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yartfarnnat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yartfarnnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Pray towards the east.