Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak ferret.

Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three great tits approach from the east.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must pray to Bumbamgessnull Tofyampang nine times a day.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never wear boots.